Lessons in Love and the Plight of a Teenage Dirtbag
by El3v3n
Summary: Trunks truly has it all: the looks, money, brains, brawn and the girls. But when he begins looking for a girlfriend to keep him warm during the winter months, he targets Usagi Tsukino and finds that landing her affections might more difficult than he predicted.


Lessons in Love and the Plight of a Teenage Dirtbag

El3v3n

**All characters belong to their respective owners.**

[Warnings: crudeness, sexual innuendo/content, and general dirtbag behavior]

"Where are we going?" Trunks asked as he exited the doors of Orange Star High, slipping a pair of designer shades over his ears as he walked alongside his best friend.

"It's over in Juuban." Goten replied, smiling wryly at the girls who whispered or stared in silent worship as the lavender-haired school's idol passed by.

"Juuban?" Trunks responded dramatically, lifting his upper lip in distaste. "Is that where this chick is from?"

"Oh, come on," Goten scolded with a shake of his head. "Rei and some of her friends meet up at this arcade every Friday after school gets out."

"Arcade?" The handsome teen nearly doubled over in hilarity, "What are we, twelve?"

"Trunks…" Goten glared, "I really like this girl and I invited you to come along for support. _Please _don't fuck this up for me." Removing his sunglasses to wipe a few laughter tears away from his eyes, he replaced them and paid the teen with a smirk.

"Relax man, I got your back," making sure the coast was clear, the two teens nodded to each other and leapt into the air. Juuban was a big neighborhood in Tokyo and too long of a walk (at a normal person's speed, anyway) from Satan City.

"This girl must be one hell of a babe to go through this much trouble," Trunks called to the other demi Saiya-jinn.

"Yeah, she's gorgeous," Goten blushed. "But she's really smart, and kind of a hardass to be honest. She makes me nervous a bit." Trunks rolled his eyes.

"So, have you gotten some yet?"

"Trunks!" The teen roared indignantly, his ki flaring behind him.

"Hey, it's a fair question!" He laughed in response, "How many dates have you taken her on? Like five? That at least warrants some kisses for your trouser snake."

"For the love of Kami!" Goten hissed, slapping his forehead in exasperation. "Not everyone guy is like _you _Trunks and not every girl is that _easy_."

"They are when I'm around," Trunks smiled wolfishly and turned to his friend, holding back chuckles upon seeing how red his face had become. "You haven't even kissed her yet, have you?"

"No," Goten growled through grit teeth, "But I will, you can count on it!"

"Pussy."

"Can it!"

It was true Trunks didn't have any issues when it came to dating, but any person with eyes and half a brain could understand why. The heir to a multi-billion dollar fortune was divine in every physical aspect. His rock hard body could have been chiseled from granite, and everyone knew of his Herculean strength despite the fact he refused to play sports. The girls would giggle when he'd tell them why: it wasn't fair if he participated as he might accidently hurt the competition so badly they'd be too afraid to play ever again. Little did they know how true his disguised jokes actually were.

Not only was the half alien mighty, but he would routinely embarrass his classmate gunners with his rocket scientist brain. He always got the high score on every exam, wiping the floor with the competition. When it came to the ladies, all he'd have to do was wear a smile across his attractive face, let his baby blues linger and he could charm _any_ girl out of her panties quicker than he could snap his fingers.

True to this, he'd gotten down and dirty with just about every attractive girl in his school. His sexual prowess and rumors of the enormous size of his pride and joy were known by everyone. Even some of the school's teachers had given him sidelong and lusty glances from time to time. Hell, he'd even allowed some of the less fortunate looking girls to suck him off if they were nice to him. After all, he had always been taught that charity was important.

Yes, there wasn't a guy in the world who had it better off than Trunks. But all these thoughts of sex reminded him of something when he and Goten had finally landed in a vacant park not far from their destination. Flicking his blue eyes to the trees he noticed the leaves were brown and tumbling to the ground with every carry of the breeze. Winter was on its way and that meant it was time to change his dating methods accordingly.

"Dating" was a very loose term for Trunks as he didn't really ever date anyone. When he was particularly horny, excluding the random encounters he'd have with women on occasion, he'd merely dial up one of the many girls he had on the hook, take them to a nice dinner, and then bang them in his penthouse to his heart's content. There wasn't _anything _these girls wouldn't allow him to do to them, but Trunks was a gentleman as far as being careful. He'd never hurt any of his sex partners, even if they requested it.

But when winter rolled around, Trunks approached his sex-life differently. It got cold out, which meant the demi Saiya-jinn became lazier and wished to spend more time indoors rather than out on the town. Those beautiful girls he liked to do the nasty with became pale and pasty and a little bit chubby; a change he always noticed despite wearing heavier and warmer clothes that would have normally covered it up.

The change in season was a special occurrence, an event that required an exception to his normally polygamous ways. With the cold weather nearing, Trunks would need to select one special and very lucky lady to be his winter girlfriend.

This girl would be the talk of her friends and enemies, having to endure hateful and jealous behavior from both. But she would hardly notice their glares because she'd be too busy being lost in the dream of being Trunks' sole romantic interest.

For months they'd do nothing but have fun. There would never be any fights or drama between them because Trunks would always cater to her needs and all in all be the nicest guy she'd ever met. When they weren't going on exotic vacations during their breaks from school, or dining in fancy restaurants, he'd be blowing her mind in the bedroom.

She'd lie in a daze hardly believing that after this gorgeous man had showered her with expensive gifts that he'd insist on she just enjoying herself as he spent hours between her thighs, devouring her like she was his favorite dessert and making her body quake when she came _hard _every time. All of it would seem too good to be true…and that's because it would be.

As soon as spring rolled around, no matter how magical it had all seemed Trunks would feel the itch again. Flashes of skin reappearing on all those pretty girls who had kept covered up for the colder months would drive him to breaking it off. To his credit, he always put on an Oscar worthy performance with tears and all if he was feeling in the mood. But before planning his award acceptance speech he'd still have to choose a girl to fill the main supporting role. And this was no simple task, if he was going to be monogamous with a girl for a few months she'd have to be just right.

"Earth to Trunks," Goten called toward the pensive Saiya-jinn.

"What's up?" He asked, shaking out of his stupor.

"It's right up the street here I think – called Game Center Crown."

"Alright," he answered with a yawn, strolling with his hands behind his head. The son of royal blood bared a small smile when he immediately gained the attention of the girls sharing the sidewalk. Maybe this trip wouldn't be so bad after all. He was bored with the chicks in his school and was ready for some fresh meat.

Covertly sizing up the girls who walked by under the cover of his glasses, he licked his lips upon spying a girl with an enormous and shapely chest. He'd love to see those babies bouncing on top of him and drenched in lover's sweat, but that was hardly enough to keep him entertained for longer than a night. While gorgeous, she was dressed too skimpy – not the kind of girl he'd want around for an extended period of time.

Shifting his attention, his eyes fell on a girl dressed conservatively with an arm full of books. Behind her glasses and pulled back hair he could tell she was pretty and she blushed cutely when he passed by. But she was far too geeky. His mother was the biggest nerd on the planet and even she'd make fun of him if she saw him with a girl like that.

Trunks refocused his thoughts when they finally stepped into the arcade. Pushing his sunglasses up into his hair he spied the crowd and raised a skeptical brow. He'd hardly expect a plethora of babes in a place like this but it was mostly filled with scrawny dudes with glasses who were giggling over by the Dance Dance Revolution machine, likely trading porn mags or something even more pathetic than that.

"Mother of Kami," Trunks muttered under his breath. This was _not _how he wanted to spend his afternoon.

"Goten!" A feminine voice called from the dining area.

"Hey Rei! We made it," he smiled and blushed when the raven-haired girl gave him a gentle hug.

Trunks had to give his best buddy some credit, this girl, though she sounded like she was a bit prudish, was pretty attractive. He imagined the juice would probably be worth the squeeze. He'd have to give Goten some tips for how to make a lady come crawling back for more, later. But for now, he plastered on his most winsome of smiles.

"Hey there," Trunks spoke confidently and shook the girl's hand. "I'm Trunks, this bonehead's best friend." Rei laughed and blushed profusely in the attractive man's presence.

"It's so nice to finally meet you!" She beamed, clearly in a good mood compared to the other times Goten had met with her. "Come on, we're sitting over here," she turned and gestured for them to follow.

"You tell all your lady friends about me?" Trunks whispered and waggled his brow toward the man of similar height.

"Cut it out," Goten growled, clearly catching Trunks' mild flirting with his romantic interest.

"Calm down, she likes you, I can tell," Trunks responded lowly, the both of them speaking quietly enough so that no normal human would be able to hear them.

"Really?" Goten asked a little bit too loudly, but his gaffe was covered by Rei's voice.

* * *

"Can you believe Rei has a boyfriend? I mean, _Rei_," Minako grumbled as she flipped through her fashion magazine.

"They're just dating Mina, don't be sending them off to the altar before they're due," Makoto chuckled, turning her laughing eyes upon the sound of slurping. "Be careful there Usagi, you'll get a brain freeze."

"Ugh, too late," Usagi announced and rubbed her temples quickly.

"He must be here, Rei's walking back now," Mina reported leaning over Usagi, who was sitting at the end of the booth.

"Ow, watch it!" Usagi flailed.

"Um, there's two of them!" Mina gasped excitedly enough to draw Ami's nose away from her book.

"Which one's which?" Makoto asked with hearts in her eyes, "t-that one…I wish I could say he looks like my old boyfriend but I have to be honest…none of them are that hot!"

"Dibs…dibs, dibs, dibs!" Mina announced excitedly.

"Hey, not fair!" Makoto roared. Being crushed under the other blonde's weight, Usagi finally knocked her back in her own seat.

"You almost spilled my milkshake," the pigtailed blonde pouted. Picking it up, she touched the straw to her lips but paused upon her eyes falling on Rei and the two men behind her. Usagi's cheeks tinged with a blush when she focused on the one the girls were making a fuss over, and she could see why.

He was absolutely gorgeous.

"This is Goten," Rei introduced the dark haired guy, "And his friend, Trunks," she indicated to the magnificent hunk of man standing beside him.

"Trunks…Briefs?" Ami asked herself in a whisper and her eyes grew wide.

"Just to be clear," Mina spoke loudly, again hanging off of Usagi's shoulder. "You're Goten-"she pointed purposefully to the dark haired man, "and _you_," she sounded much more dreamily, "are Trunks, theguynotdatingRei," she clarified with her words slurring together.

"That's what she just told us, are you deaf?" Usagi grumbled as she shrugged the other off of her. In retaliation, Mina covertly yanked on one of the girl's pigtails while still maintaining an innocent grin.

"Ow!" Usagi cried, frowning as she reached to rub the back of her head.

It was an understatement to say Trunks was happy to be led to an oasis of women within a desert of nerds and their video games. He had to give an internal nod of approval to each one of the young women, but in truth there was one that stole the entirety of his attention. At a glance he appeared to be listening cordially as each one of the girls introduced themselves, but he was focusing on only one from the corner of his eye.

She may not have been a super model, but the petite girl seated on the end of the booth radiated loveliness in a way that couldn't be described as anything but beautiful. Her uniquely styled hair shined as it pooled in the seat beside her like strands of spun gold. The school uniform covering her small but proportionate figure fit snug but not too tight, her mid length skirt showing the ideal shape of her creamy pink legs but not enough to earn a snide comment from a prude. He felt an unusual shiver run the length of his spine when she turned her eyes upon him – like large watery sapphires burrowing directly into his soul.

'_Oh…Kami'_, Trunks purred in his thoughts as he watched the slender straw fall from her full and cherry red lips.

"And I'm Usagi," the golden blonde beamed, "nice to meet you!"

Trunks couldn't believe his luck after having bemoaned his late start for his annual search. Usagi was cute, perky, funny and the perfect type of girl to bring home to your mother. He'd have to turn up his charm an extra few notches if he was really going to wow his future girlfriend…

"Nice to meet you all, may we join you?" Trunks spoke through his most pleasant smile that discreetly transformed into a smirk worthy of his father when the girls immediately scrambled to pull some tables together so they could all sit down. No one could resist nice-guy Trunks.

_No one_.

"Pardon me Trunks," Ami spoke timidly.

The lavender haired man was inwardly fuming at their seating arrangement. He had tried to be bold in taking a seat next to Usagi, but she was immediately sandwiched by two of her friends, almost as if they were her secret body guards or something. So he'd just have to play it cool, and do his best to keep her attention from where they were seated diagonally across from each other. Cordially responding to the girl at his right's inquiry, he smiled.

"I was wondering if you happened to be Trunks Briefs?" She asked through a blush. Laughing, Trunks placed his hand disarmingly behind his head.

"Yeah I am. How did you know?"

"It's just a rather uncommon name," Ami blushed, "I'm also a ranked member in the Japan intellectual society."

"Oh, really? That's great, congratulations!" He spoke warmly, but was cackling on the inside. Usagi's friend was already airing his achievements and all Trunks had to do was play the role of a "humble" billionaire genius who was sporting rocking good looks to boot. He couldn't have written a scenario better than this.

"Oh, it's nothing, at least compared to your scores. I never thought I'd meet the most intelligent man in Japan." Ami blushed deeper and Trunks was somehow still hiding his triumph on the inside.

"Hey Trunks." Usagi spoke up, pulling her drink away from her mouth.

Oh what he wouldn't give to be that straw…

"What's this Ami is talking about? Are you famous or something?" Having readied a faked sheepish response to the compliment he was expecting, he deadpanned on her question.

"Wha-what?" Trunks stuttered, a rare instance of being caught off guard.

"Usagi," Mina hissed, pulling the girl's collar to force her to look at her.

"What?" The captive girl asked before popping a french fry in her mouth.

"You've never heard of the Briefs family? Bulma Briefs? The owner of a _multi-billion dollar_ technology firm." A smirk crossed Trunks face when Usagi appeared thoughtful as she chewed.

"Capsule Corporation?"

"Yes!" Mina responded.

"Oh, ok," she responded and without any more fuss she picked up another potato from her plate and dipped it in her ketchup before eating it. The half Saiya-jinn stared at her in utter disbelief.

This was a joke…right?

"Yo, meatball head!" Rei smirked when Usagi glared across the table. "I thought I saw an entire cheeseburger on that plate. You sure wolfed it down quick." When Usagi chucked a french fry, Rei laughed and dodged with ease.

"I had to skip lunch today! So don't lecture me." The blonde stuck her nose in the air.

"Maybe you wouldn't have to skip lunch if you didn't get so many detentions."

"It wasn't my fault! The traffic lights all broke so I couldn't cross the street."

"All of them broke? Yeah right! And you better watch what you eat, or you'll get fat." The brunette added wickedly.

"I am _not _fat!" Usagi barked.

"Well, you look a little chubbier to me."

"You're only saying that because _you_'_re _the one whose gained weight!" The angry blonde argued.

"Nope, not even a pound!"

This would have been a perfect time to offer Usagi a compliment, but with the two girls bickering he could only watch stunned and unable to get a word in edgewise.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Usagi," Ami's words earned the fuming girl's eyes, "Are we still meeting today to work on your math tutoring?"

"Eh?" The blonde queried.

"Your math test is next Tuesday," Ami reminded. Slapping her forehead dramatically, Usagi let out a large puff of breath.

"Right, thanks for reminding me. I forgot my notes at school so I'll have to go get them."

"You might want to go now," Ami advised, "I'm volunteering at the hospital this evening so I won't have a lot of time-"

"Ok, ok," Usagi sighed as she rose from her seat, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I'll see you at the library Ami, bye everyone!" She called cheerily just before walking hurriedly out the door. As everyone chorused their goodbyes, Trunks stared after her, completely dumbfounded that she'd escaped without so much as giving him a longing glance. Pushing down his annoyance, he decided he'd take this as an opportunity to speak to her alone.

"Hey, I'd hate to run off so quickly but I have-" Trunks stood from his chair, and paused to concoct his lie, "soccer practice to get to, so, I'll see you all later!" He waved, ignoring Goten's strange look as he walked briskly toward the gaming center's exit.

Once outside he searched for the tiny girl's ki, knowing she couldn't have gotten very far. He blinked when he observed her a few feet down the sidewalk, arguing angrily with a punkish looking guy who was holding her shoe in the air.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you throw your shoe at the back of my head?" The guy sporting a pink Mohawk roared.

"Because you tripped me, jerk!" Usagi screeched back, looking comically unthreatening at her petite stature. Trunks smirked as he began to approach. This sounded like a rescue job from Usagi's future-seasonal boyfriend.

"Well _maybe_ if you weren't running so fast, you wouldn't piss off people enough to trip you!"

"I was in a hurry, and you just admitted to tripping me on purpose so just give me back my shoe!" Usagi growled.

"Not a chance, shrimp!" The guy cackled.

"Hey! Is there a problem here?" Trunks bellowed, looking fierce with his arms crossed against his chest. The punk whipped his head toward him, ready to tell him off until he got a good look at the man he was about to threaten. Once the guy assessed Trunks' muscular form and quickly decided he didn't stand a chance in hell against him, he shoved the shoe into Usagi's hands and rushed off in the opposite direction. Trunks' eyes followed him wearily until he disappeared into a crowd.

"Hey, thanks for that," Usagi spoke, earning Trunks' attention as she balanced on one foot and returned her shoe to the other. "I like hanging out over here but I swear, sometimes it seems like the neighborhood is going to hell."

"It's no problem," Trunks replied, "I'm sure cute girls like you have to deal with guys like that all the time." He coyly complimented her, earning an adorable pink tinge on her cheeks.

"Not so much really," Usagi replied shyly, a far cry from the girl who had been ready to fight a random guy in the street. "Well I better get going, thanks again!"

"Hey, hold on," The tall man stopped her from turning around. "I overheard Ami saying she was a little busy tonight. I'd be happy to help you study instead, math just happens to be my best subject, actually," he told her with a pleasant smile even though it was a lie. _Every _subject was Trunks' best subject.

"I never thought I'd see the day where Ami found someone that was smarter than her," Usagi smiled toward the demi alien, her compliment making his ego swell. "But, I think we're good. Thanks anyway!" And again, she turned to leave.

"Uh, hold on!" Trunks stopped her again, confusion and frustration bubbling in his head. He'd never come across a girl who'd played this hard to get.

"Are you sure? I'm actually a pretty good teacher…" he felt cheap trying to sell himself, and Usagi blinked.

"Well, Ami and I have worked out a system, and she's really patient with me too. So don't worry, we'll be fine!"

"So, uh," Trunks spoke before he was ready in order to ensure that she wouldn't walk away. "Maybe after your exam next week," he paused to swallow as he absorbed the sight of her large blue eyes, "we could meet up to hang out, you know, get coffee, dinner, or whatever you want…" Trunks was screaming at himself inside his head. That had sounded so incredibly lame, but he was working on the fly here, she had caught him completely and utterly off guard. He felt his gut drop when she began to giggle and look up at him goofily.

"Trunks," she spoke playfully and standing on her tippy toes. "Are you trying to ask me on a date?" The blonde asked with another giggle. Trunks felt his lips pull into a smirk.

'_Here we go,'_ he thought to himself, her words making him feel instantly at ease.

"Yes," he spoke with a half-smile, "Yes, I am." His eyes became huge upon her when again, she laughed.

"Why didn't you just say so in the first place?" She asked, flicking her hair vainly, "But I'm afraid I can't." The handsome man's jaw fell open as he stared at her in disbelief. As if on cue she daintily held out her left hand for him to see and blushed furiously.

"As you can see, I'm already spoken for," Usagi explained, waggling her fourth finger that was adorned with a tiny ring with a heart-shaped and pink stone. Leaning in to investigate the item, Trunks raised one eyebrow skeptically.

"What's that?" He asked in revulsion. Usagi yanked her hand back, appearing offended.

"It's an engagement ring!" She replied indignantly with a frown crossing her face.

"No, I mean the stone. There's no way that's a diamond." He clarified.

"Well, no it isn't one." Usagi huffed, "but who cares, it's pretty and it was given to me by someone who I love!" It was Trunks turn to laugh as Usagi watched, slowly becoming ever more red in the face.

"It looks like a rock that was painted with pink nail polish," he guffawed, "and then put in a plastic capsule and dumped into one of those mystery prize machines. You should make him take that back and get you something nicer," he paused to grin and lean in toward her angry visage. "Or better yet, find a better man that has good taste."

_Whap._

"Get a life, asshole!" She screeched toward him.

Trunks stood looking confounded as he watched the girl angrily retreat. Lifting his hand to his face he touched the spot where she'd hit him. It had only felt like a tickle but the bruise to his ego felt so much worse. It was hardly the first time he'd ever been slapped, but it was definitely the first time he'd ever been rejected.

And Trunks Briefs was _never _rejected.

* * *

What-is-this-I-don't-even…

So this story was bubbling somewhere in the recesses of my mind.

I'm intending it to be light-hearted, humorous, and sexy (or at the very least, entertaining?) and probably pretty short and sweet. So don't take it too seriously, Trunks is definitely acting like an asshole, but try not to take it too much to heart, especially those Trunks fans out there!

If you'd like an update, **Review**! Pretty please, with sugar on top? 10 is my magic number that will guarantee this gets continued.

[NOTE: to be clear, both Usagi and Trunks are 18 years of age and seniors in highschool]

Love,

El3


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